I recently put myself back in the dating game even though I swore to be single forever. LOL. Unfortunately at my age, 30, most people are single for a reason. Either you are like me and just came out of a long-term relationship, you were so against settling that you never had a significant relationship in your twenties, or you haven’t taken the time to process and progress in order to have a healthy relationship. I never noticed it before, probably because I spent majority of my twenties in a longstanding relationship but there is an unspoken rule floating around that if you have reached the age of 30 and are single you must attach yourself to the next thing that comes along because if not you will be alone forever.
This mindset is what leads us to settle unnecessarily. Men settle for woman that don’t drive and motivate them, and women settle for men they have to play mom to. I have met people, women specifically, that are so used to settling that they will take themselves off the market for “Mr/Mrs.Right-Now” instead of preparing themselves to receive “Mr./Mrs.Right”. Some of us are more willing to waste time with the wrong one than to spend time working on ourselves and allowing whats mean to be to be. Some of us overlook certain qualities and characteristics for a little bit of attention regardless of how it comes. We will accept whatever the other person is offering because we aren’t secure enough in ourselves to wait by ourselves. And trust me the old saying is true, what you over look in the beginning is what will kill your relationship in the end. I am talking directly to my ladies and men, you know who you are, that believe that they can love someone into loving them.
What many fail to realize is that our baggage is never just our baggage; unless you keep it to yourself until you lighten your load. When you go from relationship to relationship not taking the time to replenish yourself emotionally you are leaving a piece of your luggage with your significant other. I don’t know about you but I don’t like people leaving their belongings in my space so I definitely don’t like when people try to make their past situations, that which causes the “broken”, into my problem. I’m not necessarily talking about a traumatic event, sometimes losing trust in an ex can make us not trust the next for example, all I’m saying is deal with your baggage before bringing your luggage to your next destination. And if you are with someone who is carrying emotional baggage understand that the only person that can “fix” them is them and the best thing you can do is give them the space to fix what is “broken”.